Thursday, May 10, 2012

Ketamine


Ketamine is spiky. You can trip and hurt yourself on this stuff. Fall off the edge. Land back in psychosis. Spiky, spiky comedowns, where you feel the drug leaving your system molecule by molecule. And all night we talked about our friend J, and his massive k habit. Like we were any different, up all night snorting K until the last of the last of the frying pans and plates that J left littered all over the house were finished. Just one more quick dip into oblivion and warm disintegration. One wave of euphoria, one more bout of giggles, one more joint, one more beer, one more bump. I see H hesitating before he takes the bumps. You want it, but you know there might be a price. It's not always for free. And ketamine is not acid. You won't get your sins erased here. Here there is no forgiveness only confrontation of reality. You are a horrible person, you have done bad things, you deserve to be alone. And then it flips, you are king of the fucking world. Anything is possible. Absolutely fucking anything, a PCP style rampage where you could just fuck and destroy. But best to remember that while everything is possible, for the moment it's best to chill out and not act on it…

It's hard to take back. You don't hear so many people preaching about ketamine. (Except for the occasional 'I discovered the secret of the universe'-type weirdoes, but weirdoes are a dime a dozen among hippies.) Maybe I need to do more, but I didn't see god. It is trippy for sure, full on acid style bodily dissolution, absorption in thought, that feeling you get while meditating that you body was condensed down to one dense point somewhere around your navel chakra. Interesting corners of the psyche. Morning sunshine and a walk in the park. All drugs are better in the morning. Stoner style, just keep walking, eventually you'll get somewhere, you might be perpendicular to reality, but it's all going on without your approval anyway.

So yeah, every corner is different. How hard is it to direct? Maybe more tricky than acid. You can get into a groove of disassociation, and it is a little hard to turn around, perhaps because you are physically stuck. The physically effects are actually kind of enjoyable, you can laugh at yourself and your un-coordination.  And you definitely do get buzzed with this stuff. Actual euphoria. When you first sniff it, a sort of rush. Probably some really good hash and cans of beer helped, it's hard to say, but it was wonderful combination.

But yes, there is an edge in there, a razor blade, that will cut you. Ketamine is dark. Not even close to the way acid can be dark. Acid is always skirting around even the slightest hint of darkness, oh no, better not follow that thought, there be dragons. Acid will show you fear, but ketamine will show you hate. It is right in the pit, no white light to save you now. Think you can meditate your way out of this one? Good luck. You built this trap of your construction/destruction. This is psychedelic masochism. Boredom is a dangerous thing. So is addiction. It's a bit junkie, even for me, and I never judge anyone's taste in consciousness alteration. It's not healthy, I don't want to see this stuff for a long while. A week or so at least. And H all the time talking about addiction while snuffling the last dust specks off the plate. Hilarious. Because you can do is laugh at the stage. You're fucked and there is no other way this can go.

Setting, couch is fine for ketamine. Party, not really, don't expect to do much dancing on this stuff. Ketamine is great for conversation, it's a little like drunken lubrication but with some more telepathy or empathy. Or maybe this is just was just all in my imagination.

Booze goes great with ketamine, there is some sort of natural affinity, they are both working along the same wavelength. Pot is great, it really brings out the trippiness, there are points where you can just get a bit of blank, no real thoughts going on, just emptiness, not so interesting. Pot keeps the connections buzzing.

Where do we go from here? Back for more ketamine? Yum, yum, yum. Chow down on that stuff. Just keep the bumps coming until it doesn't work any more. It's funny, it comes up quite unexpectedly. You have just sniffed it, and you are thinking, this nice, this feels good. Some more would be nice. But this might be a mistake. Lucky I don't have my own stash or I would be way down the rabbit hole, trying to claw my way back up for air.

Ketamine is hippy smack? Maybe, but it's some dark shit. Ketamine will make you think that you are a cunt. Trying to convince myself I'm not some scummy, junkie, K head. Addictive psychedelics. Weird shit. A party drug that you can't dance on. A psychedelic that is more grim meat hook reality than all the cunts and assholes of opium.

But there is some love in it. A wide expansive, solipsistic, love. Your mind is the entire universe, or the entire universe is your mind. Psychedelic logic never makes much sense.

It's the only psychedelic that might make you more of an asshole.

Edit: I've had some comments that doing ketamine while drunk is a terrible idea. I'm sure it is, I'm not advocating this, just that it seems to go well with a couple of beers. 



4 comments:

  1. I disagree with you on two points. First of all, Ketamine does NOT mix well with alcohol. I strongly, strongly discourage mixing the two as they are both depressants and will really fuck you up, beyond the point of enjoying yourself. And second, I don't see how ketamine is dark. I've had some fantastic epiphanies on k, and love the feeling of my 'slate being wiped clean', as I like to say. It allows me to have a sort of out of body experience, and as I come back to reality piece by piece I can look at things from an objective place and suddenly some of the things I've wasted time worrying about seem really unimportant in the grand scheme of things.

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  2. First off, I'm glad you took the time to write this! "Your mind is the entire universe, or the entire universe is your mind." I dig that. Ketamine has always been something I couldn't get a hold of. I've always wanted to give it a shot & have read all I can about it, but your views are somewhat new & very very interesting.

    My experience with DXM & MXE lead me to believe that all Dissociatives can "make you more of an asshole." hah I feel that they make me more honest (less hopeful maybe). Said honesty translates to some bad stuff socially/emotionally 'cause this world is full of some bad stuff:/ Though, I also think that there are really positive after effects of usage as well.

    "psychedelic masochism ... warm disintegration ... All drugs are better in the morning ... hippy smack (lol)" All of that resonates with my experience of similar drugs! I have no doubt it'll be the same with K.

    I promoted this blog of yours on my tumblr! Hope you don't mind:]

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