Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Three Generations of Ketamine

We are sitting on my couch at 5am in the morning, the sun has come up. We've run out of nitrous and Andrei is talking about getting more ketamine. After his birthday he went on a K bender that began with innocent invitations to watch movies and sniff K, and ended up two weeks later crawling around on the floor of a mansion in Greenwich. It only finished when our friend José almost died at 3am in the morning, clutching his chest, sweating, paralysed by pain for hours. After that Androi declared his life k-free, like care-free, no more worries.

Now however, Andrei is sobering up and realising that we are out of drugs, the nitrous and alcohol have finally run out, all the K plates have been scraped clean. Pot just won't hit the spot. All we have left in the house is DMT and acid, both far too heavy after a night of getting high.

Andrei keeps picking up his phone and putting it back down again, talking about José and how his is certainly going to die. Andrei brings up José a lot. He talks about his efforts to show José what his is doing to his life. And the hypocrisy of it when Andrei phones up him up later to buy more K. Andrei is saying 'Maybe he will be alright, he was fine last time I saw him,' and so on, trying to convince himself. It is dark. We don't make eye contact while we laugh about the ridiculousness of our situation. In spite of all the drugs I have put in my system over the last day, I still know that this cannot happen. We cannot phone José at six in the morning to buy more ketamine. So all we do is laugh. I am sitting, sucking on the last of the nitrous. Andrei tells me to trip out and enjoy myself. Only I know that I have another gram of ketamine upstairs in my room.

I first did ketamine one month ago, with José and Andrei. It's the world's easiest psychedelic. It's short, it's intense, there is no hangover. It's insulated. Whatever hearts of darkness or tentacles of orgasm you find, you always wake up. Sober and back to normal, (almost). There is none of the mania of an acid afterglow. You could sniff this every night and go into your corporate job the next morning with none of the crisis of identity that acid induces.

I am sitting here, absorbing the nitrous, feeling my senses vibrate and consciousness expand along fractal landscapes. Thinking about the K upstairs in my room. Even writing about it makes my skin shiver in anticipation. After all the joints and gas, even the memory of the ketamine experience is enough to make me trip out.

Acid is my most favourite drug. Nothing else I've had, even DMT, compares to it. Every positive thing you have heard about acid. It happened to me. I changed my life, I started living differently, my priorities and perspectives were fundamentally altered. I felt like I was in my second childhood, re-deciding my place in the world. But enough about acid, I could talk all day about how it 'changed my life'.

Ketamine has the promise of acid, without the obligation of the unbearable empathy.

José is on the downward spiral to the final hole. Ketamine is going to kill him, sooner or later. The changes he would need to make in his life to get away from it completely are massive. He has nothing to tie him down, no obligations, no connections. Not even an apartment, he showed up at my friend's place with just a towel and his favourite pan for cooking K.

Andrei hated ketamine for years, left one of his old girlfriends over it. Now I've seen him sniffing the dust from the last plate at 10am on a Friday morning. I feel like I don't even want to do ketamine with him. Even he will admit that he is bad with this stuff.

And here am I. I got my dealer to drive down to my new house to deliver k because Andrei and his friends sniffed the last of my stuff, and I didn't want to be without it. Just in case the occasion arises that we need a horse tranquiliser. Just in case I need to get out of the world and out of my body for an hour. Just because I am bored with TV and want to look at the back of my eyelids?

Because inside of it of it is sex and wonder and lust and love. One world full of vibrations you pick up through your skin. Where you can go down and down, and everything goes away. Till you are just one energy source on the horizon of a white hole.

I think this is what convinced me that ketamina was a powerful ally. She can reach deep inside you. You and her are alone. She will fuck you and she will fuck with you. She is your bliss and your psychosis. She has wisdom. With nitrous she is a goddamn oracle. But not always. She is the queen of falsehoods. Lots of drugs have falsehoods. Acid has the flash, the revelation, the truth, the Jesus trip and everything.

Ketamine has pure craziness. Long spaces where you perception of what's happening is fundamentally skewed. Paranoia can run rampant. Anything. There is no moderation to keep your arguments in check. Your internal narrative says that your friends are pissed because you sniffed too much of their ketamine. You can see it expression on their doped faces. The wrinkles around the eyes from squinting are a sign. And so on. One hateful voice. And then a long while later your stretch your legs and think, 'That was a weird one'.

I am sitting on my own stash of K, and Andrei is sitting on his hands avoiding the phone, and José is sitting alone in his flat with the bag of K he makes a living from. The saddest thing. A ketamine family.

Notes on the book LSD: Doorway to the Numinous by Stanislav Grof [In Progress]

I'm in the middle of reading LSD: Doorway to the Numinous by Stanislav Grof. These are some rough summaries and interesting notes from the book. (I have a bit of a stoner memory, so this is mostly for myself so I don't forget what I've read). Grof has given LSD to thousands of patients and volunteers under controlled circumstances, this book is the accumulation of his experiences using LSD in psychotherapy.


LSD has all kinds of physical manifestations, positive and negative, sexual and painful (interestingly some people report re-experiencing the pain of surgery performed under general anesthetic). Grof couldn't find any consistent physical effects, he reports that even mydriasis is not always present (sometimes even the reverse occurs).

In general, LSD didn't affect mental functioning (as much as they could manage to measure). It heightened emotional responses. Increased non-linear thinking, free association. But in general the response was highly variable, between patients, and between sessions.

Some notes, congentially blind people don't have visual hallucinations, but have very powerful taste and smell hallucinations.

CEVs are invariably found fascinating by the subjects.

Bizarrely some people can apparently resist the effects of LSD, in particular OCD patients have extremely strong mental defences, one patient in particular was treated 38 times with a dose of 1500ug with no effect. The effects of LSD can be enhanced by lying down with the eyes closes listening to music, or decreased by keeping the eyes open and walking around. 

Grof's form of psycholytic treatment was a series of weekly lsd sessions of increasing dosage combined with psychotherapy in the month(s) preceeding the lsd sessions and in between. The goal was to uncover through introspection the parts of the psyche that were causing the problems (he treated patients with all kinds of disorders: alcoholism, depression, schizophrenia, borderline personality, etc.). This is in contrast to how LSD was being used in the states in psychedelic therapy were a small number of high doses were given to induce a spiritual experience. These isolated powerful experiences apparently had therapeutic effects. 

Sunday, June 24, 2012

Trip report: Mescaline (Peruvian torch)

Last Saturday evening I sat down with a bowl of dried Peruvian torch, a carton of Tropical juice, a puke bucket and Astrix's remix of Mescaline on the soundtrack. I was determined to eat this cactus. I had 20 grams of dried Pervuian torch I'd bought (happily legally) from an online head shop six months ago, and had never got around to cooking. I considering doing a distillation, but decided that if native American's can eat raw cactus, so can I. I ground the dried cactus chips into powder by hand and drank spoonfuls of it mixed with juice. The taste was pretty bitter, but no where near as bad as I'd been led to believe. (I've tried to drink dream herb (Calea zacatechichi) before, cactus is practically tasteless in comparison). The texture was not too snotty either- if you don't give the dehydrated powder time to reabsorb too much water. 

Some extra details in the name of science, over the night I consumed about another 10 grams of cactus, 20 nitrous chargers and a couple of joints, (this is a minimal amount of pot for me to smoke in one night, but I wanted to keep my memory intact).

I spent the evening in my house with my trip partner, an old friend of mine who was tripping on acid, listening to acoustic trance music (Uttara-Kuru was a favourite for nitrous hits).

It's true what Hunter says, good mescaline comes on slow. I spent the next two hours laying very still, clutching my belly, trying not to throw up. Convincing myself that it would be worth it. I started obviously feeling it after and 1.5 hours and 3 hours late I was well into tripping and the nausea had even started to disappear. I had been looking forward to throwing up and getting rid of the constant reminder that I had a belly full of cactus. When I finally decided that I absorbed as much mescaline as I was going to, I found that I couldn't actually throw up. In true psychedelic logic, the only solution to this problem was to eat more mescaline. So I at another spoonful, around 10grams. The trip was very comfortable so far, and I was looking forward to getting even higher.


I agree with the general opinion that mescaline is a very gentle psychedelic, definitely easier than acid. But it is not to be underestimated, it is a full psychedelic, you can lose you shit on this stuff. It is more grounded in reality than acid. It's not so self concious and very easy to interact socially on, I had no problem speaking on the phone, sending text messages to arrange plans for the next day etc. My sense of time, space, perspective and theory of other people's mind was mostly intact. I wasn't close to becoming one with the white light/universal conciousness/insert your own interpretation or hacking my own brain. There were times at the peak where my personality had split in two, I thought that I had definitely gone crazy, and other trippy experiences. But in general it was much more relaxed than acid, more mellow, no restlessness. The comeup is not like a nuclear blast to the ego, more like a lifting of invisible burden so all you are left with is lightness.

I definitely got more insight into my emotions and how I interact socially. It was surprisingly easy to direct my emotions, I didn't get pissed off when I had an argument with my trip partner about ketamine, I couldn't just shut out his frustration like I usually would. I knew I had to resolve the situation if I wanted to continue with my trip. I was entirely positive in my interactions I had with other people that night. On the other hand, I thought I was acting pretty normally, but friend informed me afterward that I was pretty obviously tripping balls, starting sentences and not finishing them, not being able to explain what I was thinking about, etc.

The experience wasn't very serious or heavy. Things that would usually trip me out like zen koans, I just found hilarious. I was laughing so much I would get stuck in laugh spirals where I would keep laughing until I had tears running down my face. I couldn't tell you now, or even at the time, why there were so funny. I find most things hilarious on psychedelics, I think it is my brain's internal defense mechanism when it runs into a cognitive dissonance that it can't resolve.

It's not so intergalactic or alien as acid, I didn't get that feeling like I was in an alternate dimension, or that my familiar surroundings had become suddenly strange and different. It doesn't have the same feeling of amazement and wonder than acid. The trip was directed toward love though, at those points where you feel like you are really at sea.

Yes, mescaline has great visuals, more visual than acid, less than a good dose of 2cb. There are very pleasant though, not the uninteresting repeating gif style visuals of 2cb, or the ancient hierogylphs of acid. Lots of rainbows (red, blue, green color seperation) on the edges of objects, patterns vibrate and move, color shifting, distortion of distances, pixelation and splitting of my vision into two. At the height of the experience, there were even DMT style geometric cathedrals overlaid on my vision. In the dark there are more OEVs (red/green pixellation overlay) and CEVs (neon colors, 3-dimensional structures, but still nothing to rival the CEVs I get coming down from MDMA).

Mescaline seems more emotional and more human than acid. I would definitely class it as an empathogen, I spent a lot of time thinking about my friends and family, about my life. I also had plenty of time on the come-up to consider why exactly I was lying on my couch with a bucket next to me, and what I was going to get from the experience. I had long thoughts about my social interaction with all my friends in the city. I tried to imagine their motivations for the things they, how I should change my behaviour to resolve disputes, and I shouldn't get angry at their unintentional mistakes.

Time dilation, there is a little, but less than acid, in my opinion. There were definitely some time 'anomolies', loopy time, deja-vu, etc. Which is strange because I'm usually pretty resistent to this stuff.

Affect on music. Not amazing. It didn't have the same incredible electric musical synaesthesia in my body that I get from acid. For a psychedelic I was surprised that it didn't really give the sound more texture, less even than MDMA. I wasn't particularly interested in listening to any psytrance music (my usual musical choice, sober or on psychedelics). This might be different if I was at a psytrance party or festival. The visual and interpersonal aspects were definitely more prominent.

My concentration was definitely impaired, I would have to keep reminding myself out loud what I was doing if I got distracted. I was using a singing bowl to keep focused on occasions when I was totally lost as a form of meditation. (I didn't even a need mandala, there was one right behind my eyelids).

Interesting thoughts from the experience.
I had some great nitrous moments. With eyes opened the visuals were really intensified. But more interesting was something that I was trying to practice. Seeing how deep you can go into nitrous but still stay focused, directing your consciousness toward one thing, a sound maybe or a mandala. It was like trying to see how close you could get to unconscious or the death experience and bring something back. At the time it seemed like a test of expression and concentration, like this was the point of my drug experiences, to bring something back from close to the beyond. I found the Uttara-Kuru chanting really helped to focus doing the nitrous, when I started to surface back from trance the rapid chanting forced my consciousness to stay focused in the experience.

While staring into the sink, trying to vomit up the pain in my stomach, my thoughts were totally directed towards my current place in my life. I stared in the sinkhole, intently watching the holes wobble around as if I was going to find my happiness in there. I don't know if all this was because of what I'd heard previously about mescaline being a rite of passage drug. I was trying to make this more of a special occasion instead of just eating acid and watching Baraka. I had waited six months to eat the mescaline and had prepared it very intentionally, I really wanted to get something positive and lasting from the experience.


Mescaline is Shulgin's favourite drug, and I can see why he likes, it's very warm, grounded and emotional. It has the healing effect of other psychedelics without performing a total mental reset. It has a relaxed positive afterglow. For (psytrance) parties, if you had a strategy for handling the initial nausea it seems like a great choice. At a house party, with a group of people on this stuff you could have a lot of fun. I would have no qualms about taking it by myself. I am always wary of getting too high on acid outside of situations like festivals because you can just get completely lost in the trip. But I would be entirely comfortable taking higher doses of mescaline alone.

I didn't feel that it altered my sense of reality enough to inspire me to write something like The Doors of Perception, perhaps if I had never had any other psychedelic experience it might have.

I was very, very pleasantly surprised by mescaline. I had a really fun night, experienced a new state of conciousness, a relaxed, carefree psychedelic state with lots of color.


6pm 20g dried Peruvian torch
7.30pm Definitely tripping.
9pm Nausea starting to disappear. Drink around 10g more.
10.30pm Somehow manage to eat some food, nausea disppears and start tripping way harder.
12-1pm Effects peak.
4-5pm Close to baseline.
12am next day finally go asleep.

Thursday, May 31, 2012

Notes on the book The Man Who Turned on the World

I'm re-reading The Man Who Turned on the World, the story of Michael Hollingshead, who gave Timothy Leary his first taste of LSD and experimented with him at Harvard. I first read the book when I was a teenager and had forgotten most of it, except for some fascinating descriptions of the LSD experience.

Now it is totally clear what was going on. If you are ever curious about the effects of large amounts of LSD on someone's worldview read this book. The author is very clearly fueled by lysergia.
More notes later as I read further.

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Ketamine update - Special oKasions

If you read my previous post about ketamine, it might look like I had a pretty un-enjoyable experience on it. This isn't true, it was dark at points, but overall it was an interesting experience and left me with some new ideas and perspectives (however hard they are to hold onto).

So, let me describe a really good ketamine experience I had a couple of days ago.

Sweet ketamina, my long lashed seductress. I think I might have found the bottom of ketamine. Past the spikes and memories and delusions. Down to one point. One radiating source. You are no one, and you are nowhere. There is no understanding of the outside world. Just drift here in the embryonic whirlpool. There is no identity. And this can be scary. But also liberating. There is no choice except oneness. It's much easier than acid, physically warm, more gentle visuals, more calm and even in general. None of the nuclear furnace of LSD. Here you can just trip out as much you want and know that whatever happens in your mind, it doesn't matter because there is no way you could even get off the couch. 
And then you wake up, and it was all just a fascinating dream. There is none of the bleed over you get with other psychedelics, no lingering visual disturbances. Still didn't talk to god, but I think going out into hyperspace demanding an audience with the creator doesn't usually go down so well.

If you look hard enough I think you can see me just to the left of the vortex.

Thursday, May 10, 2012


Ketamine is spiky. You can trip and hurt yourself on this stuff. Fall off the edge. Land back in psychosis. Spiky, spiky comedowns, where you feel the drug leaving your system molecule by molecule. And all night we talked about our friend J, and his massive k habit. Like we were any different, up all night snorting K until the last of the last of the frying pans and plates that J left littered all over the house were finished. Just one more quick dip into oblivion and warm disintegration. One wave of euphoria, one more bout of giggles, one more joint, one more beer, one more bump. I see H hesitating before he takes the bumps. You want it, but you know there might be a price. It's not always for free. And ketamine is not acid. You won't get your sins erased here. Here there is no forgiveness only confrontation of reality. You are a horrible person, you have done bad things, you deserve to be alone. And then it flips, you are king of the fucking world. Anything is possible. Absolutely fucking anything, a PCP style rampage where you could just fuck and destroy. But best to remember that while everything is possible, for the moment it's best to chill out and not act on it…

It's hard to take back. You don't hear so many people preaching about ketamine. (Except for the occasional 'I discovered the secret of the universe'-type weirdoes, but weirdoes are a dime a dozen among hippies.) Maybe I need to do more, but I didn't see god. It is trippy for sure, full on acid style bodily dissolution, absorption in thought, that feeling you get while meditating that you body was condensed down to one dense point somewhere around your navel chakra. Interesting corners of the psyche. Morning sunshine and a walk in the park. All drugs are better in the morning. Stoner style, just keep walking, eventually you'll get somewhere, you might be perpendicular to reality, but it's all going on without your approval anyway.

So yeah, every corner is different. How hard is it to direct? Maybe more tricky than acid. You can get into a groove of disassociation, and it is a little hard to turn around, perhaps because you are physically stuck. The physically effects are actually kind of enjoyable, you can laugh at yourself and your un-coordination.  And you definitely do get buzzed with this stuff. Actual euphoria. When you first sniff it, a sort of rush. Probably some really good hash and cans of beer helped, it's hard to say, but it was wonderful combination.

But yes, there is an edge in there, a razor blade, that will cut you. Ketamine is dark. Not even close to the way acid can be dark. Acid is always skirting around even the slightest hint of darkness, oh no, better not follow that thought, there be dragons. Acid will show you fear, but ketamine will show you hate. It is right in the pit, no white light to save you now. Think you can meditate your way out of this one? Good luck. You built this trap of your construction/destruction. This is psychedelic masochism. Boredom is a dangerous thing. So is addiction. It's a bit junkie, even for me, and I never judge anyone's taste in consciousness alteration. It's not healthy, I don't want to see this stuff for a long while. A week or so at least. And H all the time talking about addiction while snuffling the last dust specks off the plate. Hilarious. Because you can do is laugh at the stage. You're fucked and there is no other way this can go.

Setting, couch is fine for ketamine. Party, not really, don't expect to do much dancing on this stuff. Ketamine is great for conversation, it's a little like drunken lubrication but with some more telepathy or empathy. Or maybe this is just was just all in my imagination.

Booze goes great with ketamine, there is some sort of natural affinity, they are both working along the same wavelength. Pot is great, it really brings out the trippiness, there are points where you can just get a bit of blank, no real thoughts going on, just emptiness, not so interesting. Pot keeps the connections buzzing.

Where do we go from here? Back for more ketamine? Yum, yum, yum. Chow down on that stuff. Just keep the bumps coming until it doesn't work any more. It's funny, it comes up quite unexpectedly. You have just sniffed it, and you are thinking, this nice, this feels good. Some more would be nice. But this might be a mistake. Lucky I don't have my own stash or I would be way down the rabbit hole, trying to claw my way back up for air.

Ketamine is hippy smack? Maybe, but it's some dark shit. Ketamine will make you think that you are a cunt. Trying to convince myself I'm not some scummy, junkie, K head. Addictive psychedelics. Weird shit. A party drug that you can't dance on. A psychedelic that is more grim meat hook reality than all the cunts and assholes of opium.

But there is some love in it. A wide expansive, solipsistic, love. Your mind is the entire universe, or the entire universe is your mind. Psychedelic logic never makes much sense.

It's the only psychedelic that might make you more of an asshole.

Edit: I've had some comments that doing ketamine while drunk is a terrible idea. I'm sure it is, I'm not advocating this, just that it seems to go well with a couple of beers. 

Wednesday, April 18, 2012

Pharmacology of LSD

I found an excellent paper reviewing research on LSD over the last 60 years. More than you ever wanted to know about the documented effects of LSD.  All great science, no anecdotes or trip reports. Useful information includes possible physical effects and interactions with other drugs. They also have a timeline of the effects of LSD, I'd like to point, out showing the peak at 2.5 hours, contradicting Erowid's graph which says the trip should peak after 1 hour.

The Pharmacology of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide: A Review

The Pharmacology of Lysergic Acid Diethylamide: A Review

As a bonus, just in case you haven't seen it, this is a great video from the 50s when it was still acceptable to give acid to members of the public.

Friday, March 9, 2012

Eye Candy

I've finally decided to get on board with this whole tumblr thing, so I've started another blog at where I'm going to post some nice psychedelic eye candy. Eventually I will figure out a way to link these two blogs...

Symphonic Psytrance

I don't know why, psytrancer producers just can't hold themselves back sometimes, but there is some urge to make trance versions of classical pieces.  I suppose it is just a a shortcut to very dramatic, emotional and impactful music. It's very occasionally good, usually just a bit wierd and disconcerting. Like this one:

Peter and the Wolf

This is just hilarious:
O Fortuna

Finally one that's actually pretty nice,
Beethoven's Ninth Symphony

Friday, December 16, 2011

Psychedelic muuuussssiiiccc

I love psytrance music, I love the way it does't mess around, this music was made to be enjoyed under the influence of psychedelic drugs. And so, here are a couple of great songs about LSD.

Does anyone have any more?

Thursday, December 1, 2011

All my girlfriends

You always have a good time when Mandy goes clubbing with you. She wants everyone to enjoy themselves, she is too young to have anything to worry about, she thinks everything is easy. She always says she loves you, but she doesn't want to see you when the party is over. She might cuddle for hours, but she will never sleep with you.
Lucy is enchanting. She will take you places no one else can. She will show you the entire universe. She is beautiful and quick, she sees right through you. Just being around her makes you want to be a better person. She is an eternal optimist, and can carried away with her visions of the future if you let her. She can be moody if she doesn't like how you're treating her, and you really don't want to find out just how angry she can get.
Mary-Jane is your best friend. She is always there for you, however you're feeling. She won't throw a tantrum if you call her up in a bad mood. She doesn't get jealous of your other girl-friends. She knows you'll always come back to her. She is always able to calm you down. She has a lot of things to tell you. She seems to know everything about you. She always has good advice, if you only you could remember everything she tells you.
Sometimes Mary-Jane she brings over her friend Nico. Nico is nice to be around, she is seductive, elegant. She wants to come over even when Mary-Jane isn't there. After a while you find out how shallow she is and you get bored of her company pretty quickly. You've learned that it's not so hard to send her home when she's overstayed her welcome.
Dimitria is hard to understand, she speaks with a thick accent. You suspect she might actually be crazy, but sometimes she comes out with something so wise, you think you might be wrong. You can't get her our of your head, she is like no one else you have ever met. You don't want to visit her too often. This is because you're actually scared of her, although you won't admit that to anyone else.

(In case you missed any, Mandy is MDMA, Lucy is LSD, Mary-Jane is sweet, sweet marijuana, Nico is nicotene and Dimitria is DMT.)

Friday, November 11, 2011

DMT Accident

Message for psychonauts. Oh my God, clean your bongs people.
I accidentally got a lung full of DMT while smoking some weed. I was going to smoke some weed and go to sleep. I was sure there wouldn't be anything substantial left in the bong. I had been fiddling around with the screens but didn't change them. I didn't taste or smell the DMT and didn't work out what was going on for most of the trip. I thought I had just flipped out, or that the skunk weed you get here is actually that strong, or that it was some after-effect of the acid I had last weekend. I just had time to turn out the lights and throw myself on the bed before it came on. The plan had been to lay down and listen to The Doors. Instead complete chaos. Utter oblivion. Overwhelming, neon visuals. Leaving my body. Complete dissolution of every sense, sensory input, sense of self and common sense.
After a while I could hear the music, it was the same song, only a couple of minutes had passed. When I eventually opened my eyes and saw the characteristic DMT curves overlayed on my vision, I worked out what had happened. I came down heart racing (there was also a lot of weed in the bong), hands shaking.
I am actually less afraid of DMT now. I had a sort of unbiased experience, uninfluenced by what I had heard or read about DMT before. It really is one of the most powerful psychedelics, definitely similar to the extreme peak of an acid trip. But there was none of overwhelming sanctity etc. I've gotten before. I guess this answers the question of how much of your mental state at the time influences the experience. I still feel reborn afterwards though.
But Jesus, that is quite something to spring on a person. I feel like I've been in a psychedelic hit and run.

(Some one just pointed out to me on reddit that Ezekiel Chapter 1 actually has some interesting similarities to DMT.)

Monday, November 7, 2011

When in doubt, make tea

Douglas Adams says, 'When in doubt, make tea'. LSD usually involves a lot of doubt and a lot of tea. Despite the time dilation making a cup of tea is an epic undertaking, allow at least 20 minutes. The first step is to leave the room you are currently in. Making the transition from the couch to the kitchen might seem impossible, but trust me, it can be done, there is a reality outside of this room. Once you get through the door, take a moment to adjust to the new space of the hallway or corridor. There are a lot of doors here. Don't get lost, you're on a mission. There are a lot of possibilities to be explored, but you have plenty of time for that later. Focus, stick to the plan.
Hopefully your kitchen isn't a complete disaster zone, and you have at least washed the dinner plates from last night. The tile floor might be wobbling around and the cupboards getting a bit melty. Don't worry, they'll do that. Just don't linger on the food right now, crumbs have a tendency to turn in a swarms of ants, and fruit can get disturbingly biological.
Making tea involves a couple of steps that you have to do in the right sequence. Thankfully it's pretty hard to make any disastrous mistakes. Fill the water with kettle. No wait, that's not right. Fill the kettle with water. Press the button. Sometime in the future boiling water will be ready, but a lot stuff is going to happen between now and then. Mugs, teabags, milk. Are you making tea for your friends? Yep, they are separate people and physical constraints dictate one cup per person. It is a little sad, but trust me, despite what you're feeling right now, it's the way to go with this tea business.
If you find yourself getting bored waiting for the kettle, there's a lot of interesting ways you can pass the time. There is the ever present option of closing your eyes and enjoying the in-flight movie. If you listen carefully you'll find that the rhythm of that fan is actually overlaid with a melody. Depending on your choice of wallpaper, repeating patterns can be strangely attractive. You can always turn on the tap and go inside the sink to a sci-fi world of glittering stainless steel. Just try to avoid any packaged food, the flat colours and strong graphic design is inherently distasteful. That sugar box with its corporate slogans is definitely not your friend.
Water's boiling. Hopefully you haven't wandered off and forgotten about the rest of the plan yet. Fill the cups with water, put one teabag in each cup. This is easy, you've been doing it for years. Add the milk. You might get lost watching clouds of milk erupting under the surface of the tea. That's ok, that tea cup can be the moon, the ocean, a commentary about mankind and the circularity of our existence. Eventually you'll have to break the trance, but probably only a couple of seconds have passed. You might want to take some spoons back to your friends while you are in the kitchen. It will be worth it for the distorted liquid reflections and mind bending Matrix references.
Congratulations, you've made tea and as a reward, you get to enjoy a hot, tasty beverage. Now you just have to get back to the living room...